xxxWhat The?!?!?!!! The Pat DownXXX

This officer is dedicated to keeping the phrase "Coppin' a feel" relevant in today's society. Good Work, 'Occifer'

Taken from Urbandictionary.com:

cop a feel

Unpredictable grabbing or touching of someone's private areas while acting innocent of action taken.
Mostly used for shock value or foreplay.
A woman who is not your friend will usually find this very offensive and not humorous, however most men would
enjoy receiving this action.
While we were watching people dancing my friend said
" Don't dance close to that ass, he will try to cop a feel."

=0*HM*

xxxWhat The?!?!?!!! - Joaquin Phoenix on LettermanXXX

Uhhhhh....? Can't wait for that hip hop album...

=0*HM*

xxxRyan Adams' Last Bow? - [What The?!?!]XXX

"
me- 34-a non smoker and happy, for the first time in my life.. i am excited to finish this wonderful time i have had with the cardinals and whatever new adventures may come after march. atlanta will be my last venture with the band and i am grateful for the time we have had and maybe someday we will have more stories to tell together. i am however ready for quieter times as i think it is very evident i am struggling with some balance and hearing issues.
also, no drama or anything but i am okay to step back from all of this right now and i think i did enough manic blogging when i felt alone and isolated during the last few years of travel. these last few years were the hardest i can remember and the most rewarding but i have loved ones to care for now and i am lucky i have been given a chance to turn around and see just what i am capable of as a friend and as someone who is not gone forever every year- it rendered me incapable of things i needed to be to myself and others- and my schedule sometimes never ended when the shows did- and some of that was my doing. and i lost someone i loved, and i lost myself.

that changed. i got to know just who i am in this little spell of time here recently. and change is the nature of the world and i naturally embrace that.

i won't be blogging here anymore either- but not for effect- it just is not being kind to myself- i need a life that is mine- i need to grow up and grow in to who i have subtly been working back towards since i stopped all that nonsense and i know also no matter what i choose to do in the music world, because i chose to do things my way and never lie i will always be viewed as an "asshole" ( i hear and have seen things in the past) and i am not, and i know the truth and i know who i am.

also it is kind of ridiculous to blog as i am a musician and anything i say here just gets reprinted at some point out of context. i say NOT FAIR but it doesn't matter what i say anymore or what is fair anymore really does it- the 21st century media has it's own rules about what is true and what is not. it is not a life- not one i want to live anyway and i don't really care to participate in narcissistic over-indulgent behavior anymore- that was never my intention- i just wanted to fight for my right to make music and to be given the benefit of the doubt. now, because i have stood up for myself and fought for myself i am labeled all kinds of awful things. well, i will walk away now and it will not matter what anyone say's. there are other things i can do in this life, other ways to be creative and to try and help others and be expressive without being demonized for attempting to gain the same things any other human being desires- love- friendship- understanding- and being able to express yourself without constant fear of being mistreated for speaking up

i have friends to make, brand new books coming (two of em' not counting that one already printed and on it's way out there and i LOVE writing....yay!) and a whole lot of living and learning to do.

i am excited to step away. i lost more than anyone will ever know (hearing, someone i loved, my sense of dignity, a never ending losing battle with stage fright and now my hearing and balance due to an inner ear issue- people accusing me of not being sober when i am suffering tremendous pain and nausea from my inner ear symptoms- people accusing me of theft (THEFT- ....awful) and this is not much of a life, not glamorous like those ridiculous video's a long time ago television played and no it is not monetarily as rewarding as people would like you to believe and yes, it is soul destroying. especially when you spend your life trying to write about the really difficult stuff and you stand there losing your way and people yell at you like you were in a circus. when it was your dream to matter and you realize one day, it never mattered- i mean, i am a punch-line and a footnote in what is worse to yell at someone besides "free-bird". i mean, i lost. and it's okay because i seriously snuck some pretty neat idea's in there in the work when i was making those mistakes or they were being made by others. this business is no science.

andf you know, whatever this is- it's not my dream. and it is a punishing thing to endure when you are getting worse and worse- it's not my dream, my dream was to try and tap into that energy i saw watching Minutemen vcr tapes when i was just a little shit in NC of mike watt's crazy shaking leg and his electric fingers- or how sonic youth droned into beautiful clouds those guitars shaking, kim and steve rattling the pulsing lines into feverish thudding imaginary subway cars racing through my heart- and how it felt to just let go and static up a riff and find the sweet spot- but getting yelled at for just being a songwriter- to be called so many horrid things because i chose to love music so much, and also to look for peace and balance in my life- that is not kindness and just not my thing. at least not now.

and i loved somebody. and i let others decided if that was okay and that was wrong and i was wrong and no one should deny themselves or others love or understanding because people don't get it. that was an awful mistake. i always make big mistakes. it's like i let myself learn that because that was a role, a niche' i filled that make sense to a loud voice of strangers who would never really play a real part in my life.

never become that if you choose this path- if you go this route with your art. never listen to those loud dissatisfied bystanders who only want to see you fail because that will be entertaining for that moment. hold fast to your dreams, hold faster to your heart and never step out of the light of that love that made you whole. i did. and i know better now. and better late than never i suppose.

but i am okay now. i see a peaceful way to better days now. i am healing. and most importantly i feel loved and i have learned to treat myself with that same curiosity and lover that i have been lucky enough to feel and to learn to let guide my life. love is the great teacher and i am happy to be learning now. happy to be listening to that over this never ending painful ringing. this is the great lesson of my life. for once i want to be dignified in my study and in one place long enough to hear and understand without my pride or my lack of faith in myself leading me further away from things i need to know once and for all.

this is the real work now. the rest is something else entirely.

quitting smoking was a good step and i am happy i also am just now beginning to understand how important it is i take better care of myself in every way right now. hell i am even beginning to sleep a little and i can feel the things good and bad that i did not have time to feel when i was running towards a new oblivion of work, hoping somehow someday what i did would be accepted and maybe that would make me feel loved. how foolish.

that is not love. love is being accepted for who you are. love is taking care of yourself and caring for others and dreaming out loud when it matters. not chasing rainbows. not hoping for some eventual collective sigh of approval which will never come. how did i ever think in those terms? i always knew better. thank goodness i know now how to be honest with myself.

anyway, enjoy these shows ( i will enjoy them immensely and i will miss them just as much) and know that i am not abandoning anyone, not the cardinals and not the fans, this is just something i need to do now, and that i loved playing music in the cardinals and hell, even before i was in a place to try and learn to be well, music was my life source- and cardinals was such a heavy crush and a real dream...i honor it too much to have any regrets right now, i am just proud.

maybe we will play again sometime and maybe i will work my way back into some kind of music situation but this is the time for me to step back now, to reel it in and i wish everyone peace and happiness and if music is your dream, or if just dreaming is your dream, may you find your way through the rough patch with ease and i hope you let go and it takes you all the way there-

loving kindness to all.

R"



SHIT! NO! WHAT THE?!?!

Not sure if this is to be believed....

=O*HM*

xxxWhat The?!! Oh, Billy CorganXXX

Don't say he never gave the fans a voice... NYC took a bite outta his apple.
=One, *Haute Mess*

xxxWhat The?!!XXX

"Someone" took advice a la "Scarlet Takes A Tumble..."

=*HM*

xxxWhat The...?!?!?XXX

So that's what happened to Wilson Phillips... whatever "that" is...

=*HM*

xxxWhat The...?!?!?XXX

=*HM*

xxxWhat The?!?!-Oasis Attacked in TorontoXXX

See what happens when you slander Radiohead.
Big Ideas? (Don't Get Any) More Oasis.

It's about a minute and a half into the video.

=*HM*

xxxWhat The??!!!XXX

Ah yes... so many performers have their acts planned to the T! They don't fuck up, they cover up the fuck ups if they do, and what is worst... they can never predict what audience will be attending the show each night. Of course, this lends itself well to unpredictable WHAT THE??!!! moments from here and there. Watch & Enjoy the ensuing incidents!

Patrick Wolf Live MisHap at MisShapes last year (make it thru the Interviews):


Who the hell would fight during a Counting Crows concert? The fans are so... sensitive!


Tori don't fuck around, bitches!


=Contributing To One, *Haute Mess*

xxxBigfoot Body Found (aka yet another What The??!!!)XXX

There have been quite a few bizarre events in the last few months... weeks even! Remember the in-house-window Alien from Colorado? The supernatural critters are all coming out of the woodwork. Why, you ask? Global warming? The upcoming election? Do the creatures seek fame and fortune and special treatment in the public eye? Well I highly doubt all of those things. Bigfoot sure as hell didn't end up dead in a river on purpose. The following article was taken from Discovery:

INTERVIEW: Bigfoot Body Allegedly Found
By David Lohr, Investigation Discovery

Aug. 15, 2008 -- Although I typically cover true crime and missing person cases, I wanted to do something a little different today. Therefore, I decided to look into recent rumors regarding the discovery of a dead Bigfoot creature in Georgia. During my own investigation into the case, I was able to obtain an exclusive interview with one of the key figures involved in the case. This individual also granted me permission to post a photograph of the alleged creature. You might be asking yourself whether this is a hoax. Read on and decide for yourself.

Tom Biscardi, Chief Executive Officer of Searching for Bigfoot, Inc., states that he is convinced that a dead creature allegedly found in the mountains of northern Georgia is the elusive Bigfoot.

In an interview with Investigation Discovery this afternoon, Biscardi provided exclusive details about the discovery of the creature and shared what it was like to see it firsthand. According to Biscardi, it was roughly three weeks ago when Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, two men who reportedly operate a Bigfoot tracking business, announced the find on Squatch Detective Radio.

"The commentator said, "Can we come down and verify your discovery?" and they said, "No." The person they said they wanted was the real big foot hunter," Biscardi said. "They wanted me."

The following day, the radio host contacted Biscardi and told him about the find, as well as Whitton and Dyer's request that he verify it. Biscardi agreed and flew to Georgia two weeks later to investigate the situation.

"All this crap was going through my mind," Biscardi reported. "Will they all be there? Was this all bologna? Will I call and the phone is disconnected, you know? Well, I get there, and my God, there they were waiting for me. They were two respectful gentlemen. One was a cop that was wounded, so he is on administrative paid leave right now, and the other was an ex-corrections officer. They made sure that I got in a decent hotel, and we talked for about an hour and a half. There was a big storm that night, and we agreed to meet the next morning. Then, they gave me the [creature's] DNA and they said, 'Here, we want you to take this and run it through.' They didn't want to show me the body yet. At that point, we were pretty much just breaking bread."

Biscardi flew back home, but returned to Georgia last Saturday. At that time, he was given the opportunity to see the body for the first time.

"I have to tell you, I was in shock," Biscardi stated as he described the moment he laid eyes upon the creature. "It was a euphoric experience for me. After 35 years of searching for this thing, it just blew me away. There I was face-to-face with this thing. It was about 7 feet tall and it weighs over 500 pounds. It had five fingers and five toes, very much like a human. His feet were in excess of 16 inches, and his hands from the palm to the middle finger were in excess of 11 inches. The teeth were protruding because rigor mortis had set in, and the tongue was out. Its guts were also out of its stomach, and it looked like the gasses in the body caused this because they had this thing since June 10 or 12. I don’t remember exactly, but [they had it] for about two months. They were afraid. They didn't know what to think about what they had."

According to Biscardi, Whitton and Dyer took him to the area where they allegedly found the creature. He described it as a rugged mountainous area that was approximately 7 1/2 miles into the woods. Once there, the men reportedly described to Biscardi how they found the creature.

"They found it by a stream," Biscardi said. "One of them stayed with the body for nine hours, while the other one went to go get help and the truck. They had to get this thing out by hand, and it took a total of four guys a day and a half to do it. While they were doing that, they were hearing something. One of them took video of another [creature] that was following them, and they said they saw three of them in the course of a day and a half."

Biscardi stated that both DNA and photographic evidence will be presented during a press conference tomorrow afternoon at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto in Palo Alto, Calif. Following the press conference, the creature will be examined by a team of scientists. According to Biscardi, they will release their findings to the world.

-Taken from Discovery's Blog


And if you haven't heard about the Texan police officer who filmed the chubacabre on his daily run... it deserves a blah, blah, blah... but we don't want a dead Sasquatch to get lonely, do we?

The Chupacabre Video:


Jersey Devil? Chupacabre?


Whatever that critter is, it's got WORMS people, WORMS! My guess is a deranged mange-ridden fox. But, hell who knows... I'll just fondly nick name it The Matador.

=From One *Haute (Mythical) Mess*

xxxWhat The??!!!XXX

The one, the only, the crotch of Pop Levi nearly bustin' out of those white slacks. Uhhh... he'll be playing The Echo again this Friday Night (8/15) if you'd like to get a closer look, see the rest of him, or, ya know, you could always go... for the pop... Music? Come out and celebrate Underground @ The Echo with Pop Levi. Rumor is... even though we are in LA... there will be dancing (humans even!) DANCING!!! Clicky the crotch for show info.

=Never Gonna Clean Up This, *Haute Mess*

xxxWhat The??!!!XXX

=What A *Haute Mess*